Glenda Hotton at a Glance



  • Wife of high school sweetheart, Mother, and Grandmother;
  • Counselor for women (fulfilling the Titus 2 mandate);
  • Speaker for women’s events;
  • Professor of Home Economics Family and Consumer Sciences




Perfection

sarah and casey wedding picture Are you living with someone different than yourself? Do you desire to live in harmony with that different person? If so, If you desire a God honoring and fulfilling marriage, consider a one on one or a group of Titus Two women. God used other women to teach me that “perfect” was not the answer, but that His way was the way to have a happy home. They were willing to give of themselves to teach me to fit into my own husband’s ways and teach me how to be a mother and many other practical Christian living principles.

On your outline is a brief acrostic for the word TEACH in Titus 2:3-5. It stands for time to equip and allow change from the heart. We don’t just change our outward appearance but real change comes from the inside. For what is on the inside, your character qualities will affect those around us in our saucer. That first person is our husband. (oops how many times have I said that).

The acrostic TEACH stands for…

T Time – they were willing to give of their time to
spend with me. I felt accepted and cared for. Not
judged.

E Equip – they gave me tools in the form of books,
tapes, taught me how to study God’s Word and
took me to Bible studies.

A Allow – they allowed me to ask questions (never
laughing at my silly questions that to them seems
so natural but to me was so foreign) and they
allowed me to hang out with them. To watch them
in practice. (Gloria Landman)

C Change – they knew change takes time. They
were not in a hurry, but they faithfully met with
me.

H Heart – They taught me Scripture because it is
God that changes the heart.

The first woman God used in my life was Loretta Haw. She is the wife of Phil Haw one of our elders. This was over 50 years ago. Our friendship goes a long way. she and a few of her friends gave us a baby shower for our second daughter. I was so touched by their kindness I didn’t know how to respond. Her home was filled with women from the church I barely knew. They were welcoming me to the living world of Christian love. They truly were a Titus Two group. She and others (Pat Dempsey was one) came to visit me at home after the baby. They continued to pour attention and love on me. They taught me how to mother without being abusive, and how to keep a tidy home without being a perfectionist. I learned mostly by WATCHING them. Some one is watching you. What do they see? What do they learn?

Titus Two has a one-on-one component but most of Christianity is caught not taught. If you are struggling with an area of obedience, ask someone you have watched and ask her to meet with you and help you through a situation.

I learned mostly by watching. With Loretta we never met officially. But she is one who was willing to answer questions. Wonderful help. Many women have informally and formally discipled me over the years. Two have been particularly special in a long lasting relationship.

One is Faye. We didn’t have a Christian heritage so we adopted a godly older woman. She came to us when our third daughter was 11/2. She taught me the application of Philippians 2:3,4. It says: Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every woman to her own needs but to the needs of others.” She taught me that people are more important than things. She was a constant example of love and humility. She shook her bony little finger in my face many many times and I am so grateful. A beautiful example and testimony of God’s grace.

Another precious saint was Mary Barshaw. Bob and I sat under all the Barshaw’s teaching on family. For years we taught the family classes that Fred developed. They personally mentored both of us while we were raising our daughters. I watched Mary mostly, because I saw in her what I wanted to be – a good wife. I noticed when Fred spoke, Mary looked at him. Sitting in a circle while Fred taught, Mary would be looking at him as if he was saying something she had never heard before and she was very interested. I do that now with my Bob. She never told me to look at him, I copied her. SIDE-NOTE….. men like eye contact… and ladies God works through our husbands for our good. Listen. I copied her. she seemed to reverence him. Eph 5:33b says we are to reverence our husband. Reverence in this passage means to have an attitude of deep adoring respect, being honored; (worship with utmost devotion and love). She modeled this for me. One way we practice Titus Two is to MODEL. She modeled – mentored this reverence that she had for her Fred, to me. Mary met with me as often as I wanted. Some times months would go by. She was always ready to listen when I called. She prayed for me; she attended most of my speaking events and she always affirmed me and said “Oh Glenda, we needed to hear that.” I would hug her and remind her, “Mary you taught me everything I know.” She was so humble.

I care and Im here for you dear bride (of all ages). I will write more about Titus Two again. Look for someone to “titus two” you. Learn a lot by watching someone you admire. Remember you are being watched.

Thank you for reading. Lovingly, Glenda Hotton

How to Live with Different

equal yet differentA wife? A mommy? A friend? God had to teach me through difficulty.

I used to think there were basically two kinds of people in the world. One was you were just like me , therefore you were normal and I could like you.

Or you weren’t like me, therefore not normal and I couldn’t like you.

Maybe you know some one different than yourself? Maybe your husband is different than you maybe your children or friend or roommate.

My sweetheart is very different than me

If he were a China cup, he would be much like this cup. He sits up on his saucer not down in it. He wants you to know he is in charge. This cup is dressed neat, and functional.

He is very outgoing, task oriented, likes attention and to be up front. He is a leader type of a man. He enjoys being in charge. His Motto is “just do it, just get the job done.”

I am more like this little china cup. I usually wear black and a minimum of jewelry because I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want to be noticed, I’m more of a behind the scenes person.
This little cup has just a little decoration of pink roses not to bold but matching.

I’m more detail and like things done perfectly.
My motto is “if its worth doing its worth doing right.”

No one told me that after marriage came life. That after moonlight and roses, came daylight and dishes.’’

REMEMBER the story of Cinderella? Remember singing, “Someday my prince will come.”

…Well, Bob was my knight in shining armor – my prince charming. I thought we would marry, ride off on his white horse and live happily ever after in his castle on the hill.

In those early months of marriage Bob was in the military. Daily he went to school for training and I cleaned our little apt from top to bottom – side to side.

When he returned home, we would sit around the table and enjoy our meal and discuss the events of the day. It was a wonderful “feeling” of love and we were very happy.

One evening after this familiar routine, I began to put things away, clear the table and do the dishes and he went outside for something.

I was standing at the sink scrubbing pots and pans.

I looked out the kitchen window and saw my handsome, young hubby, laughing and talking with the neighbor lady.

I remember saying these words to myself out loud… ”Is this what its all about?” I’m in here scrubbing dishes and he is out having fun? I DON’T THINK SO!

Ruth Bell graham said, “It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be. Always ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need, and making more than adequate provision. Such expectations puts a man under an impossible strain.”

I didn’t know that! Did you?

When I married my knight-in-shining-armor, I gave myself to him for the rest of my life, for him to meet all my needs. And make me happy. When you married…. did you do that?

I thought if I did everything perfect, my husband would know I love him and we would have a happy marriage.

I became the “perfect” wife and the “perfect” mother. I kept a spotless house, kept all his shirts washed, starched, ironed and hanging in a row, color coded for his choosing.

I kept his little girls clean and waiting for him when he arrived home. No toys strewn around, no watching TV, I put on a clean blouse and lipstick.

THE KING WAS COMING.

Wouldn’t you think he would feel like the most loved man in all the world?

I remember another event The details aren’t important.

One day, he came home to his perfect house and perfect wife and perfect children…came into the kitchen… and in his military voice…shaking his finger in my face, he said, “You have either got to shape up or ship out.”

I was shocked. I said, “Me? Im perfect. You are the one who has the problems.”

During that all night vigil of talking and crying, he shared his grievances with me. One was that I had lost my smile. and he didn’t want to live this way any more.

That night I promised God if He would get us through the night, I would do whatever it took to learn how to be a wife. I purposed in my heart to learn to be the wife God wanted and Bob needed.

The next morning I went to a Women’s Bible study that I knew was in the neighborhood. I went incognito (dark wig, sunglasses, hat, lots of makeup). I looked terrible after crying all night, but you see I promised God and I wanted to begin right away.

I started learning and watching and applying. During this learning time, we moved to Arizona for three years. I attended a Titus Two Bible study and learned from that teaching how to be a wife.

If you are struggling with your role as wife, please don’t hesitate to write a comment here and I will write you personally. Im here for you and I care.

You may find encouragement and practical helps in my book Psalms for Brides at amazon.

More to come….